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The first day….

So…. I quit my job ya’ll….

tumblr inline mz4fs1MZx41s7qc8d - The first day….

I’ve been working in hotel sales for 20 years, TWENTY, you guys…. like, forever…. and I quit. I decided that my soul is more important than this job. I decided that I want to make stuff. To write stuff. To build something. To show my children that if you want it, you should go get it. I decided that spending all of my energy, making money for someone else is not where it’s at. That watching people who are only marginally good at what they do get promoted is not my cup of tea. That striving for mediocrity is not how I want to spend my time.

I put a lot into what I do. I have focused on building a career based on integrity, on hard work, on meeting deadlines and expectations, on securing contracts and never missing a detail. And included in all of that reaching for perfection, are missed school programs, parent-teacher conferences, Holiday concerts, first smiles, first steps, milestones that I can’t ever get back. The day my Mama died, I was at work, 1500 miles away. The day my son graduated from fifth grade, I was at a sales meeting. When my babies are sick I have to choose between staying in good graces at work, or taking care of them. And at the end of the day, you guys? I’ve got nothing left to give. And that hits me where it hurts. And it hits them where it hurts too.

And then I started Sweet Georgia Sugar. Just a little side thing. And one morning I woke up and didn’t want it to be a little side thing. One morning I woke up and I wanted to cook breakfast for my kids, and spend my day making lotion. I woke up and I wanted what I put out into the Universe to be something of value, something that makes it better, instead of just making money. And then I cried. A lot, (I’m almost in tears right now, just writing this). And then I called my husband and said, “I want to quit my job and do Sweet Georgia Sugar full time”. And then I cried again when he said “YES”. Because it IS about what you put out there, ya’ll. It IS about how you feel about what you do. For so long I pretended that it wasn’t. That what I did to make a living didn’t say anything about who I was on the inside. But that was a lie. And it was a lie I told myself for a long time. Out of fear. Out of obligation. Out of insecurity.

But now…. ya’ll…. now I’m looking forward. Am I terrified? Yes, I fucking am. Terrified of trying something new. Terrified of having to make it go, all on my own. But am I terrified of failure? No. Because my soul is full, you guys. Full of promise. Full of hope. Full of love. Full of the knowledge that I see what I want, and I’m going to go take it. I’m jumping without a net. Today is the first day of my working life that I get to spend exactly as I want to. Today is the first day that it’s just for me. Today is the first day that I take it, because I want it. Today is the first day, of all the days that come after. Let’s jump, ya’ll.

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