I’m Dying of Heatstroke, Y’all
So, it’s been a long, hot summer so far, am I right? My hatred of the summer months has been well-documented, so I know that you all can probably feel my suffering from wherever you are. And when I get too hot…well, I also get a little bit cranky, (and by cranky, I mean the B-word with a big ol’ capital B, you guys). And it is hot here in Denver. My grass is dying, my vegetable garden is a sad, brown mess, (though, that could be because I’m too lazy to water it), and I don’t have air conditioning. THE HORROR. I mean, it was 94 degrees yesterday and when I took a stroll by my thermostat, I noticed that it was 88 degrees inside the dang house. How can I be expected to conduct business and make stuff and tweet stuff and do stuff when it is that hot? I felt like Scarlett O’Hara at that picnic, you know when she fainted because of the heat? And I’m not even wearing a corset and stockings and a 40 lb dress and a big hat. It’s just too much.
So this morning, I had planned to get up at the crack of dawn to shower before the inside of my house became an oven, but when my alarm went off at 6am, I may have hit snooze a few times. Maybe for two hours or something like that. Maybe. Anyway, by the time I got up, it was 83 degrees in my house already and I thought that all was lost.
So I jumped in the shower and was lamenting the fact that the shower was going to be cancelled out by the fact that I would start sweating the moment I turned the water off and that my makeup would slide right off my face before I could finish putting it on and that blow drying my hair was absolutely out of the question…but then…then I spied my Rosemary-Mint All Natural Body Scrub sitting on the side of the tub…”Oh Heyyyyy”, I thought, “That has peppermint oil in it which feels cold when it touches your skin,”… hmmmm… so I turned up the hot water just a tad, to make sure my pores got good and open, and then I slathered myself with body scrub, (and sloughed off approximately a whole summer’s worth of dead skin in the process). I scrubbed my feet and legs and arms and underarms and body and neck and everything but my face. When I was done, my skin was as smooth as a newborn baby AND I could feel the peppermint oil working it’s magic. I felt cool, maybe even, dare I say it? Cold. I got out and got dressed and put on makeup and BLOW DRIED MY HAIR, all with nary a drop of sweat popping out anywhere on my body. And I felt human for the first time in days. Now, I don’t want to over-exfoliate, which can irritate the skin, so I have started using my Rosemary-Mint Facial Cleansing Oil, not only to wash my face, but also to apply just before I get out of the shower. It has the same effect as the scrub and leaves my skin feeling dewy and fresh. And also keeps me from committing murder before I get my mascara on – see, the many benefits of all natural skin care products are endless. So, try it, y’all. And here’s wishing for pumpkin-spice latte season to be upon us.