So today marks sixty days since I started working for myself. As with any new venture, there have been some ups and downs, with many more to come, I’m sure. So I was sitting at my desk this morning, eating a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast, listening to The White Stripes at a deafening level, reflecting on my new found independence. And you know what? There are days that I miss my office and even my job, (WTF?). Sometimes I miss being around other people, I miss catching up on office gossip, and you guys, sometimes I miss having a boss. I know, crazy, right? But it’s all on me, to do everything, and sometimes that feels so overwhelming. Some days I wake up and think I made the wrong choice. Some days I wake up and am afraid that the bills won’t get paid and that this was all an awful mistake, that I am risking the future of my children, that I am burdening my husband. But I can’t allow that kind of thinking to take root in my brain, I can’t allow fear to derail me from my goals. So I decided to make a list of the top ten reasons why quitting my job to start my own business was the right choice.
- I can wear whatever I want to the office. Seriously, right now I am dressed like some sort of hybrid between a mod Twiggy and Bozo the clown. I could NEVER get away with that in a corporate setting.
- I don’t have to cover up all of my tattoos. Y’all have no idea what kind of a challenge this is in an office setting. I have a lot of ink. Let’s just say that I own approximately 97 cardigan sweaters and 37 pairs of black tights, which I had to wear all year round, even when it was 103 degrees in the dead of summer.
- I can listen to whatever music I want, at whatever volume I want all day long. (I am currently enjoying the “Classic Punk and Hardcore” station that I made on iTunes radio. God save the fucking queen, y’all).
- I can watch House of Cards and Game of Thrones on my lunch break.
- I can take and pick my children up from school. My son no longer has an hour long bus ride for a three mile trip.
- I don’t have to choose between getting fired or taking care of my family when I have to leave for a sick kid/teacher conference/Christmas pageant, etc.
- I got my nose pierced! I look cute, y’all.
- I’m the boss of me. If I blow off writing my blog post to watch Judge Judy, there is no one to blame but myself, and that offers more motivation than you might think. I HATE feeling guilty, you guys.
- I get to spend my time doing the things that are most effective to grow my business, rather than the things that someone who hasn’t been “in the field” for twenty years, made up to make himself look busy.
- I dyed my hair lavender, y’all. LAVENDER. I dyed my hair my favorite color. It’s also my favorite scent. (And if it’s YOUR favorite scent, check out the sale we are having until the end of the month..Everything lavender is 20% off! http://www.sweetgeorgiasugar.com/)
I know that most of the things on this list seem kind of superficial, like the tattoos and the nose ring and the crazy hair, but they really speak to being able to live my life authentically. I get to be me. I get to look like me. I no longer have to be one person in the office and another person in my “real” life. I no longer have to pretend to give a shit about the quarterly P&L statement that I am only fractionally responsible for, I no longer have to act respectful towards people who haven’t earned it. And that is worth something, y’all. It’s worth the risk. It’s worth the fear, it’s worth the burden. And I can do this.